Negative Pregnancy tests...

...are my own worst enemy. Seriously. I have had my fair share of them in the past two and a half years and spent quite a bit of money on them. And it never gets any easier. Here's hoping that the next one I choose to take doesn't disappoint me.

Too much reading...

I get carried away looking at forums sometimes. I just get so into what other people are saying and feel like I have no hope of ever having a baby. My RE tells me it's good that I read a lot online but not to trust anything until I talk to him but wow, it's so hard! I know this is a very short post but hey, that's what this blog is for =) So I don't drive my husband crazy! Still praying for some baby dust...

Where it all sort of started...

Back in the beginning of this year (2011), I was really starting to get aggravated that the whole pregnancy thing wasn't working out for us. My OB/GYN had diagnosed me as hypothyroid back in March of 2010 and put me on medication for it. My thyroid levels were fine after I started medication. But I wasn't happy with her because I didn't feel like she was really listening to me or trying to help me. She just kept ordering blood work to be done but would never help me with the next step in trying to make a baby a reality for us. It was like she wasn't even really listening as to why I was there with concern.

I decided to change doctors. I really wanted something set in motion. So I started seeing my new doctor and I thought she was fantastic, she still is! She prescribed me Metformin when I met with her the first time because she told me with everything she could tell from blood work and everything else, that I had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). So I started taking 500mg of Metformin a day. She told me if I didn't feel like waiting anymore, that she would suggest I go on and find an RE to go to since it had been a while for us trying for a baby.

So at the end of May, I made the call to Alabama Fertility Specialists and made an appointment with an RE that a few of my friends have had great success with! On June 13th, I had my first appointment. Dr. Steinkampf took all sorts of blood from me and took my 500mg of Metformin up to 2000mg of Metformin a day. He also prescribed me 50mg of Clomid days 2-6 of my cycle. Well the Metformin made me so sick every time I would eat and the Clomid didn't do anything.

On August 2nd, Justin went with me to my appointment. As predicted, the Clomid hadn't done anything to help. He took me off the Metformin completely because my liver enzymes were slightly elevated and it wasn't helping with anything he said. So they gave me a progesterone shot to get my cycle going, prescribed me 100mg of Clomid and sent me on my way. Said they would see me back in 5 weeks.

So our most recent appointment was on September 12th, I was feeling much more optimistic and definitely not as sick since I didn't have Metformin in my system anymore. I still didn't think the Clomid had done anything and as soon as he saw my BBT chart (I have been charting my basal body temp every morning at 6:15), he immediately knew I hadn't ovulated so still no baby =(

He told me he wasn't going to let me have a cycle this time and went on and prescribed me 150mg of Clomid (3 pills a day, yuck) and he would see me back in 4 weeks. So I've taken the last of those pills and am now just waiting. I'm not really sure what comes next but it looks like we are going to have lots of options coming up. He did ask us how we felt about multiples...scared my poor husband to death I'm sure. I wouldn't mind twins but I don't think we could handle any more than that. So we have a lot coming up in the near future. We go back to the doctor the 2nd week of October. At that point, I will update you on everything.

And to our future baby, I know this battle with infertility will be more than worth it. You are worth all of this and more.

And so it is...

I'm starting this blog in hopes of one day, our baby will be able to look back on it (my husband's idea) and see how much we wanted him/her and how much we had to fight to get them.


Almost 6 years ago, I gave birth to a precious baby boy, Ethan. And almost 2 and a half years ago, I became a stepmother to a beautiful young lady, Lexie. Our children, now ages 8 and 5, fill us with such happiness but we feel like there is something (or someone) TINY missing and that's what this blog is about.


Justin and I have been together for almost 4 and a half years. We knew shortly after we met and became serious about spending the rest of our lives together, that we wanted to have a baby. So after getting married in April of 2009 and moving into our house in June of 2009, we immediately started trying. Well, it's now September of 2011 and there is still no baby crying in the middle of the night or dirty diapers to change. I never thought it would take this long...never.


After spending a lot of hours at doctor's offices, I've been diagnosed with a couple of different "conditions". I'm hypothyroid, I have PCOS and I'm insulin resistant. Those three things combined seem to cause a lot of problems, especially infertility. 


I've been on several medications throughout the process so far but still feel like I'm at the beginnings of all of this because in 4 weeks, when we go back to the RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist), it seems like we have a lot of decisions to make. I'm not sure of all of those decisions yet because we haven't gotten there.


I'm starting my third cycle with Clomid (used to stimulate ovulation when the ovaries can produce a follicle but hormonal stimulation is deficient) tomorrow. I'm up to 3 pills a day which is the highest my RE will go. So I'm praying it does something this time around.


It gets so discouraging. Where it goes from here, I have no idea. Am I scared at all? Yes. Am I nervous that I will never have another baby? Absolutely. But I do know that my husband and I will work together until we get the outcome we want.


Here's hoping it's sooner, rather than later!