It's been 7 weeks today since my miscarriage. I can't believe it's been that long but I think overall, we are all dealing with it the best we can. I get really sad from time to time and the smallest, most odd things set me off. But I'm coping. My husband is probably doing a much better job at coping than I am but like all men, he keeps a lot of his emotions to himself. He's honestly my rock through all of this. The one that remains optimistic and it rubs off on me sometimes. Probably not enough though!
My son, who is 6 now, asked me on Tuesday night how the baby was doing growing in my tummy. Bless his heart. He had forgotten that baby didn't make it but it made me so sad. He then asked, "are you still sad about it?" Well, yes sweetheart, I'm very sad. But knowing that little guy loves me helps a whole lot. Even when he's being a rowdy, troublesome boy.
My stepdaughter, who is 9 now, doesn't really talk about it at all. I have noticed when I mention the "b" word that she kind of glances at me to maybe make sure I'm okay. And I mention the "b" word quite frequently because I still want that baby.
This past Saturday morning (at 6:45), I was ecstatic! I woke up to a period...one that had started on it's own with no help from any medication. That's amazing progress for us! So this vicious cycle starts anew.
Tuesday I will be having a small procedure done at the hospital to make sure it wasn't something wrong with me that caused the miscarriage. Not really looking forward to that but I'm not going to stress about it until Tuesday morning. Because this weekend...this weekend I get to see my mom and dad. I miss them so much. And then I get to spend the entire weekend with them and my sweet children and husband, and my sister, brother-in-law and my two nephews. So when I look at things overall...life is good, truly good.
